Helping a Loved One with Dementia Stop Driving

A Caregiver Guide

Giving up driving is one of the most difficult transitions for individuals with dementia and their families. Driving represents independence, identity, and freedom. This guide offers practical strategies to help you navigate this transition safely and compassionately.

Why Driving Becomes Unsafe

Dementia can affect skills that are essential for safe driving, including:

• Attention and reaction time

• Judgment and decision-making

• Visuospatial skills (lane position, parking, distance, navigation)

• Memory for routes

Warning Signs It’s Time to Stop Driving

• If you wouldn't put your child/grandchild in the backseat with them driving, it's time to stop them from driving. Remember, even if your loved one is driving alone, they are still putting other people's children/grandchildren at risk.

• Getting lost on familiar roads

• Confusing pedals or traffic signals

• Near-misses, fender benders, or new vehicle damage

• Slower reactions or poor judgment

• Increased anxiety, anger, or confusion while driving

• Family or friends refusing to ride with them

• Trouble staying within lanes or parking lines

• Neuropsychological testing data that is concerning for driving.

How to Talk About Driving

Focus on safety, not blame.

• Avoid arguing about specific mistakes.

• Stay calm and matter-of-fact.

• Repeat the message consistently if needed.

Use Professional Support

• Ask a physician or neuropsychologist to address driving directly.

• Written medical recommendations often reduce conflict.

• A neuropsychological evaluation can objectively assess driving-related skills and support the decision.

Offer Clear Transportation Alternatives

People are more willing to stop driving if they don’t feel trapped.

• Family or friends providing rides

  • Be specific! Who will drive dad to the diner on Tuesday? Who will drive him to church? Etc.

• Community/senior transportation services

  • Contact your county's "Office on Aging" for more help

• Ride-share services (with support if needed)

  • Uber, Lyft, taxi, GoGoGrandparent (no smartphone required)

• Scheduled outings to preserve routine and independence

Use the "legacy metaphor"

Your loved one worked all their life to build the legacy that they want to leave behind. Remind them of this. Then state that they don't want to ruin this legacy by being "the guy who ran a stop sign and killed a 5-year-old" or some other tragedy.

If Reasoning Doesn’t Work

In moderate to advanced dementia, insight may be limited. Some people might genuinely forget the conversation you had about not driving.

Safety-focused steps may include:

• Removing or hiding car keys

• Disabling or selling the vehicle

• Parking the car out of sight

• Using a simple explanation (“The car is being repaired”)

When dementia is present, safety takes priority over full transparency.

When to Act

If your loved one is clearly unsafe, driving should stop right away—even if it causes distress.

If you need support, talk with your loved one’s physician or neuropsychologist. You do not have to make this decision alone.